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Just Being MyselfMy name is Kim, a struggling multi-tasking executive, at your service. Welcome to my highly dysfunctional life. July 03 Death is not a terrible fate; it is preordained.Most human beings are not forgiving in nature.
We like to believe the worst in people in order to build up an inner wall of defense in the event of another let down.
With regard to the late King of Pop, MJ had been mocked and abused mentally, indirectly phsyically, for many many years until his last breathe.
Even when the annoucement of his upcoming concerts, media critics were harsh, some directly insinuating looking forward for another let down by the "clown". Yet, the same media changed their tunes upon the news of MJ's demise - talked about "shedding crocodile tears". (sic)
And the next funny thing is - I don't see many posting online to defend MJ when he was alive, MJ had to appear before the media to defend himself of his innocence which not many believed (initially / eventually until his last breathe). Yet, upon his passing, you see many posting online to say they believe him - and what do you know - the self-claimed 'jordan chandler' who accused of MJ's molesting posted online to apologize for lying and that MJ had not touched him the wrong way - the post had been deleted by the time I got wind of the news.
All's moot.
I'm trying to say, most ppl are only willing to forgive and forget in the event of death.
Why? Is it because death is such a terrible fate? But death can also be a form of release from misery.
Have you heard of a famous saying "A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH"?
Death is not a terrible fate. It is not, truly.
Death is preordained.
Death is something everyone has to go through since the day of our birth.
The day we arrived on this planet, was the day we were marked to die eventually.
The True Definition of "Boliao"Man fined for obscene video
A MAN who made a video call to a woman showing his private parts was fined $2,000 on Thursday.
Wee Boon Kiat, 35, a diver, pleaded guilty to insulting the modesty of the 29-year-old woman at an office building downtown on April 4.
Both were not known to each other.
A magistrate's court heard that the woman received a 3G video call at about 1am that day from Wee on her mobile phone.
Wee said he was waiting for her to come back. She hung up.
He then used his 3G video call function and called her again. This time, the victim saw him masturbating. She made a police report.
Pleading for a chance, Wee, who is married, told the court that he had made a mistake. (Kim: DUH! A MISTAKE?! A GENIUS OBVIOUSLY.)
District Judge Shaiffudin Saruwan said he was sure the inventor of the 3G phone did not have what Wee did as a use. He told Wee to seek medical help. Wee, who has a theft conviction, could have been jailed for up to one year and/or fined.
July 01 The Ironic MeFor as long as I remember, lies has been preached to be wrong, a big no no in how we live our lives.
Yet, lies have been nothing but constant, an important necessity in daily lives.
Without lies, lives will be almost impossible.
Humans drummed with impractical idealistic notions only to fail at their very born natures - cold and practical primitive actions.
There's no such thing as fusion - idealistic with practical actions - but there IS pretending to blend into the wacko society forgoing the very importance of true self.
Who are you truly?
What do you want really?
What do you need badly?
Why are you frustrated yet take comfort in the notions your actions are deemed right by the public?
Why do you feel that you owe the public an explaination of your actions?
Why do you lie?
I will be insulting you if I am to say I'm not a liar. I lie and I would lie until my last breadthe.
I lie because I know no one in this whole wide world will accept me for what I truly am.
(god forbids, why should I care if I'm accepted or not? well, I'm lazy, I do not want a battle on my hands just to prove I'm different from the rest - its just not worth the effort. If I had to lie to make my day a good one, one can be sure I'd lie a most fantastic one just to get that prick off my back.)
I lie to fit in this misfit world. I lie to avoid conflicts. And most importantly, I lie because I had to, to prevent the pain I'd have inflicted on my love ones.
I remember there's one time when I was still with Le Meridien, as a Public Relations Manager, I had to represent the hotel, and that means, I had to be perceived as "Beautiful, sophiscated, humourous, intelligent, friendly, rich, and all that crap". - Andy bought me my first luxury item, a gucci bag - which I only used for a few network sessions and the bag is now gathering dust in my wardrobe. Call me weird, I still don't feel a luxury item will bring the best out of a person. Infact, I find that shallow. (And I swear to god, Kim does not dig shallow. Not now, and not ever.)
I bought myself another Kate Spade when the first store opened in Takashimaya- no idea how much it cost and I dont bother asking for price when I buy things - I don't even had any idea if Kate Spade is expensive or just another ordinary bag - i just want it cos it calls out to me. Only when I was at the counter ready to pay for the bag, I had a shock of my life that it cost a ridiculous amount for a bag. No choice, the card was signed. I used it almost everyday - cos, damn, the bag calls out to me every bloody day.
I am ironic. I am.
I'm idealistic, but practical - that's why I lie - a conflict in my characters and actions.
I don't like myself very much, let alone love myself.
I have no idea why he loves me. He must be mad. (or I lie pretty damn well to make him love me. Either way, he is not going anywhere. He is mine and he better knows it.)
June 30 Fond MemoriesJune 29 Obessed over MJ's demise - deep in thoughts![]() MJ's patented dance move in smooth criminal - source: internet
I'm sure alot of us can read from internet about MJ's demise and its related articles. There is one which I'd like to immortalize in this tiny space of mine - this article exudes a cocktail that includes compassion, empathy and understanding. This aurthor shoved aside decades of public mockery abuses on MJ's sanity and health - for it is his music, dance moves and his ability to do the impossible on an epic scale that made MJ the 'King of the Pop'. His infamous/famous crotch grabbing was a famous example. It was quite impossible to imagine how one could made the world embraces his 'crotch grabbing' dance moves - but he did it. (Ok, to me, it is still weird that crotch grabbing has been accepted - I'm never a big fan of anyone dancing crotch grabbing - it is akin to step 1 of mastubating on stage)
I grow up with MJ's music starting from his 'beat it' when I was around 5yrs old and 'thriller' when I was around 7yrs old. It was only in my teens that the 'dangerous' album came out and I was hooked. His MTV looked more like a movie than the MTVs we have now - that is still something only he can do. What's your fav MJ's mtv? Mine is still "REMEMBER THE TIME, SMOOTH CRIMINAL, BAD, JAM, GHOST and THRILLER".
To me, his death may not be a bad thing to him - at the very least, it had put an end to his decades of misery. I've no doubt that he is now in a better place.
But I can't help but wonder, he has his parents and siblings who declared undying love for him, why havent they help them the way they should? at the very least, they should take his health and sanity at the first priority than the so-overrated career and state of wealth.
Michael was not the one who was wacko. The world with everything else is.
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'I'm better off dead. I'm done': Michael Jackson's fateful prediction just a week before his death
By Ian Halperin
Last updated at 9:13 AM on 28th June 2009
Whatever the final autopsy results reveal, it was greed that killed Michael Jackson. Had he not been driven – by a cabal of bankers, agents, doctors and advisers – to commit to the gruelling 50 concerts in London’s O2 Arena, I believe he would still be alive today. During the last weeks and months of his life, Jackson made desperate attempts to prepare for the concert series scheduled for next month – a series that would have earned millions for the singer and his entourage, but which he could never have completed, not mentally, and not physically. In which, Jackson responded with a "Thank you for your love and support,’ he told them. ‘I want you guys to know I love you very much. 'I don’t know how I’m going to do 50 shows. I’m not a big eater. I need to put some weight on. I’m really angry with them booking me up to do 50 shows. I only wanted to do ten.’ One of his former employees was particularly struck by Jackson’s wording that day. ‘The way he was talking, it’s like he’s not in control over his own life any more,’ she told me earlier this month. ‘It sounds like somebody else is pulling his strings and telling him what to do. Someone wants him dead. Some liked to snigger at his public image, and it is true that flamboyant clothes and bizarre make-up made for a comic grotesque; yet without them, his appearance was distressing; with skin blemishes, thinning hair and discoloured fingernails. It was clear that he was in no condition to do a single concert, let alone 50. He could no longer sing, for a start. On some days he could barely talk. He could no longer dance. Disaster was looming in London and, in the opinion of his closest confidantes, he was feeling suicidal. I had more than a glimpse of the real Michael; as an award-winning freelance journalist and film-maker, I spent more than five years inside his ‘camp’. Many in his entourage spoke frankly to me – and that made it possible for me to write authoritatively last December that Michael had six months to live, a claim that, at the time, his official spokesman, Dr Tohme Tohme, called a ‘complete fabrication’. The singer, he told the world, was in ‘fine health’. Six months and one day later, Jackson was dead. Michael had been accused of impropriety with young boys. Little more than a decade earlier, another 13-year-old, Jordan Chandler, made similar accusations in a case that was eventually settled before trial – but not before the damage had been done to Jackson’s reputation. I had started my investigation convinced that Jackson was guilty. By the end, I no longer believed that. I could not find a single shred of evidence suggesting that Jackson had molested a child. But I found significant evidence demonstrating that most, if not all, of his accusers lacked credibility and were motivated primarily by money. It is clear to me that Michael was homosexual and that his taste was for young men, albeit not as young as Jordan Chandler or Gavin Arvizo. In the course of my investigations, I spoke to two of his gay lovers, one a Hollywood waiter, the other an aspiring actor. The waiter had remained friends, perhaps more, with the singer until his death last week. He had served Jackson at a restaurant, Jackson made his interest plain and the two slept together the following night. According to the waiter, Jackson fell in love. The actor, who has been given solid but uninspiring film parts, saw Jackson in the middle of 2007. He told me they had spent nearly every night together during their affair – an easy claim to make, you might think. But this lover produced corroboration in the form of photographs of the two of them together, and a witness. Other witnesses speak of strings of young men visiting his house at all hours, even in the period of his decline. Some stayed overnight. When Jackson lived in Las Vegas, one of his closest aides told how he would sneak off to a ‘grungy, rat-infested’ motel – often dressed as a woman to disguise his identity – to meet a male construction worker he had fallen in love with. Jackson was acquitted in the Arvizo case, dramatically so, but the effect on his mental state was ruinous. Sources close to him suggest he was close to complete nervous breakdown. On June 21, Jackson told my contact that he wanted to die. He said that he didn’t have what it would take to perform any more because he had lost his voice and dance moves. ‘It’s not working out,’ Jackson said. ‘I’m better off dead. I don’t have anywhere left to turn. I’m done.’ Michael’s closest confidante told me just two hours after he died that ‘Michael was tired of living. He was a complete wreck for years and now he can finally be in a better place. People around him fed him drugs to keep him on their side. They should be held accountable.’ Michael Jackson was undoubtedly a deeply troubled and lonely man. Throughout my investigation, I was torn between compassion and anger, sorrow and empathy. Michael Jackson may very well have been the most talented performer of his generation, but for 15 years that fact has been lost to a generation who may remember him only as a grotesque caricature who liked to share his bed with little boys. Now that he’s gone, maybe it’s time to shelve the suspicions and appreciate the music.
It's always another's demise for true reflection to impactThe recent demise of MJ, the world's greatest music legend of the era - somehow greatly affected me.
MJ was successful, was wealthy, was impressive and everything.
But to attain to such status, he forgo much more of importance, namely, his health and his sanity.
The price of being successful, the price of being an idol, the price of doing the "right thing" deemed by the society, why the need to explain to the world of his actions? He did not owe the world any explaination at all....He wasn't happy as he should be.
Growing up in Singapore, an impressionable young country, where new generation parents pressurized children to be successful in order to be wealthy - the price? the lost of sanity, the gain of depression, the increment of sucide, the twisted mindset of competitive Singaporeans, the unneccessary pride of a peacock.
Does one really need to be successful in order to be happy?
Does one really need to be wealthy in order to be happy?
Does one really need to have luxury items to show one's face in the society?
I've seen countless of people queueing up at luxury stores just to get a bag that cost a ridiculous amount - and for what? for pride? for the way to be perceived as successful? For others to admire being superior and ? People are dying out there due to proverty - the cost of that ridiculous bag can feed a family for a few months, sometimes for a few years!
The death of MJ made me realized - You don't have to live your life the way your parents want. You don't have to live the life the society perceived as right. Live your life your way. If you want to end all and restart again - just bloody do it. Its your life, you are in the driver seat.
May MJ rest in peace. If he didn't get the peace when he was alive, he deserved the peace in his eternal sleep.
June 28 Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse Of Real Michael Jackson![]() Words are that the real MJ was found dead 15-20yrs ago in his Neverland Range - the corpse above
SANTA BARBARA, CA—During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced Tuesday. "Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said. "We are not certain, at this time, who—or what—has been standing trial in that Santa Maria courthouse."
According to Holbrooke, Jackson's corpse was buried just inches below a stretch of the miniature-train tracks that run throughout Neverland. The largely desiccated corpse wore the remains of a red, zipper-covered leather jacket and a single glove. "We positively identified the body as Jackson by his dental records and DNA," Holbrooke said. "But even before we conducted a single forensic test, we began to suspect that that we'd uncovered the real Michael, and that the disturbing figure claiming to be Jackson was a fake." Holbrooke said that, although the corpse was in an advanced stage of decomposition, when investigators compared the body to early-career publicity photos of Jackson, they saw a striking resemblance in bone structure and facial features. But when they compared the body to photos taken after 1987, the resemblance was negligible. "This discovery raises a lot of questions, but it also sheds light on a number of disturbing incidents," Holbrooke said. "Frankly, Jackson had been acting pretty strange." Forensic experts and music critics are postulating that Jackson was dead before the release of the multi-platinum album Bad. Detectives are currently analyzing the lyrics to "Man In The Mirror" for any clues relating to a look-alike entity that many suspect murdered the youngest member of the Jackson 5 and assumed his identity. "We believe that Neverland served as some sort of freakishly whimsical tomb constructed by Jackson's killer," Holbrooke said. "We also suspect that all of the iniquities that occurred on that ranch were the work of the imposter. I wouldn't have ever thought it possible, but we are looking at a situation where the sexual abuse of a 13-year-old cancer patient is the tip of the iceberg." Holbrooke said that, while the living Jackson is the leading suspect in the murder investigation, he "could be another victim of some sort." "Basically, we have no idea what type of creature we are dealing with," Holbrooke said. A member of the investigative team that discovered Jackson's body described the experience as "otherworldly." "As we neared the perimeter of Neverland, the dogs started whining and howling like crazy," Santa Barbara County detective Frank Poeller said. "We had to pull them into the house. When we got to Jackson's bedroom, one of them almost choked himself to death on his leash trying to get out through the window. Minutes later, the same dog led us to the corpse." A representative from Jackson's self-created label, MJJ Productions, said he was not surprised to find out that the current Jackson is an imposter. "When we were recording 'Heal The World' for Dangerous, I could tell something was terribly, terribly wrong," MJJ manager Luke Allard said. "Michael didn't seem like himself anymore. He'd demand bizarre food and sit for hours in a hyperbaric chamber. His appearance began to become more and more peculiar. Soon afterwards, he started wearing a mask and confiding in a chimpanzee." "I remember thinking, 'This man has become a monster,'" Allard said. "If only I'd known how right I was." Allard said he thinks that the imposter broke ties with Jackson's former friends and surrounded himself with children who were too young to notice the radical change. Vanity Fair reporter Beth Pither visited Neverland in 1994. "A strangely fearful staff member led me to Jackson, but ran off before I opened the door," Pither said. "Standing there with my hand on an ice-cold doorknob, I heard strange, unnatural sounds—leathery wings flapping, a sorrowful wail, and loud hissing. A wave of dread passed through me as I opened the door, but all I found was Michael and some kids in pajamas eating ice cream and watching 101 Dalmatians." While their claims have not been corroborated, other Neverland visitors have reported that when when Jackson entered a room, lights flickered, faucets ran blood-red, and screams escaped from the walls. To aid in the investigation, the FBI enlisted Dr. Richard Weingarden, a noted expert on the paranormal from UC Santa Barbara. After only two hours, Weingarden abandoned the project. "The smell of sulfur, the decaying facial features, the bizarrely high-pitched voice—it sounds exactly like..." Weingarden said, trailing off. "I'm sure it's nothing. Not a big deal. Nothing to be terrified about, certainly. I have to go. I've got a family." Thomas Sneddon, the prosecutor in Jackson's child-molestation lawsuit, said it remains to be seen how the shocking discovery will affect the trial. Megan Gustafson, who left her post as president of the Akron, OH Michael Jackson Fan Club after the singer was accused of molestation, offered a positive view of the grisly revelation. "This is very disturbing news," Gustafson said. "But to be honest, it's kind of a relief too. Thriller and Off The Wall are really amazing records. Now I can pull them out of my 'ruined by child abuse' storage bin and start listening to them again." June 27 Things I've said he hated:K: "Why spend mine when I can spend yours?"
A: .............................................
K: hahahahahahahahahahahaha....
June 24 The day he offered me a slice of cakeIt was his 18th birthday celebration the first day we met.
His friends made him offered me a slice of his birthday cake.
I, the glutton, of course, accepted the cake with delight.
11yrs later, we are getting married.
It was sort of love at first sight in a twisted way but gotten sorted out many years later.
p/s: To me, being ROM-ed is not married. So I do not considered myself married until I don a gown and a veil - which will happen in a few months time. Wish me luck! June 23 Tonight I Celebrate My Love
June 21 Finally i know happinessFunny Moments
Kim: You've tried the patience of a saint, stupid andy!
Andy: My demanding wife, you are not a saint, no matter what your parents tell you.
Kim:.....
![]() Kim is very happy today. Feels good to be happy.
i'm finally happy where I am.
I'm no saint but I'm no devil also. No, I don't want your soul, not anymore. :)
For once, I'm truly truly contented where I am in life, at this point.
Wedding does that to me. Being a real bride, with gowns and veil, do that to me.
I'm finally knowing where I will be going in life.
June 17 tonight, i celebrate my love for you......I can't seem to get this song out of my head - not that I want to - this is my fav love song.
Have you ever had the experience that something big is coming your way yet the feelings that you should be feeling had not sink in? I'm going to be a real bride, in a few months time. yeah, one who dons a veil, a big balloon creme gown, and I'm due for a fitting in July. Call me weird - my official wedding gown will be chosen off the rack but I had the tea ceremony dress to be made to measure. Package signed and all - but the feeling that a bride-to-be should have, still eludes me.
At the same time, we are also offering for a unit in Woodlands. It has a full length window in both living room and master bedroom with views of a beautiful garden. Duh, not even a tiny bit of overwhelmed - I'm just in auto pilot mode. don't ask me why, i'm clueless too.
It will be a small wedding. no banquet. no nothing. just a romantic affair with my fav love song that goes like this "tonight i celebrate my love for you...."playing in the car - over and over and over again.
will I get cold feet? hmm...age catching up, can't afford to be a silly nilly.
wish me luck.
luv,
kim
May 26 For the love of gawdI should have just trashed that alarm clock onto that stupid wall and gone back to sleep.
..... a time travelled machine will come in handy ...... i will always tune the machine to make my days fast forward into the night and stayed there all the time..... May 22 Giddy with Guiltful IdeasMy life and career are both taking a nosedive, I don't see why I couldnt enjoy the ride.
Tweak or True?"Hey, loyalty may has its place but the first responsibilty is always to yourself." May 21 ThursdayMy name is Kim.
A multi-tasking executive struggling to survive, at your service.
Welcome to my highly dysfunctional life.
Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci - Exhibition in SingaporeIt has been my dream to visit all-of-Rome, St Peterburg (Russia), Paris (France), Xi-an (China) and finally Cairo (Egypt).
But life is always as such, twisted my arm and more, and I had to learn how to make-do.
Attended the exhibition of Emperor Kangxi in Singapore - its an utter disappointment.
Nothing of much value, interest, - to be precised, there was nothing in the exhibition that I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW.
I hope Science centre will prove to be a better place where da vinci is the main highlight.
May 12 looking backMay 11 DON'T PUT ANYTHING IN YOUR MOUTH EXCEPT FOODTuesday May 5, 2009Secretary accidentally bites off boss’ penisA SECRETARY accidentally bit off the penis of her employer while giving him oral sex in a car.
Sin Chew Daily and China Press reported yesterday that while the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on the man, the car was hit by a reversing van. The impact of the crash, China Press reported, caused the woman to bite off her lover’s organ.
The daily reported that the incident occurred in a Singapore park where the couple met after work.
To make matters worse for the woman, her husband had sent a private investigator to spy on her after suspecting that she was being unfaithful. The investigator said he had followed the woman and her boss to the park.
“On reaching the park, they did not alight from the car. Not long after, the car started to shake violently.
After the car was hit by the van, there was a loud scream from the woman whose mouth was covered with blood,” he said.
The woman later followed her lover to the hospital with part of the sexual organ.
The investigator, who called an ambulance to send the man to hospital, said that this was the first time he had encountered such an incident.
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with all the blood, its a wonder why she did not accidentally swallow that bit of organ.
there is justice in the world.
hohohohohohoh.
damn funny!
i can't help it.
i can't stop laughing!
April 25 Lesson 2009 April 25Life is not only about seeking shelter in the storm.
It is also about dancing in the rain.
If only practical is as easy as theory, then everything will be a piece of cake.
I'll be the next follower after Marie Antoinette who quoted Marie-Therese's "qu'ils mangent de la brioche".
Yeah,....it'll be so lucky ..... not!
April 22 The conversation. He made me smile non stop.K: Hello! I've heard you are cozy with XXXX at our former Le Meridien. So what have I missed?
D: I'm not cozy with XXXX. You got the wrong info.
K: I heard that from April. Words are XXXX is your darling on the side. *grin*
D: No. April is my darling. But she rejected me.
K: No way. April is my buddy. She will not reject you.
D: April prefer men in white. *white men* (I'm a Singaporean Chinese)
K: O C'mon. April has no preference in color as long as he is a man.
D: Then you must have mistaken me for someone else.
K: What, you are not brat pig?!
D: No! I'm Tom Cruz!
K: What the.... all this while I thought you are Brat Pig!
D: No lah. I'm Tom Cruz. That's why you are mission impossible to me.
K: I'm not that impossible.
D: But you are. I can't get you.
K: Oh. Then you must have mistaken me for someone else. I'm not April, who rejected you.
D: No you are not April. You are my Jan, Feb, Mar, May, Jun, Jul, Aug, Sep, Nov and Dec.
K: hahahahahahaaha. You are good.
D: Of course.
April 19 SundayIt seems weird but today is the only day that I am in the mood to work.
soooooo i brought all my work home to finish them at home.
I am going to sleep REALLY LATE and wake up REALLY LATE.
I love sundays.
April 12 The world is big.There's so many things I wanna do - but if I do them, I will hurt some assholes whom I'm supposed to love.
Why must I always think of others before myself?
Why must these others that I think of - are all selfish to the core?!
Why must I feel that I owe them my whole fucking life?!
Why must I be so fucking damn compassionate to these selfish assholes?!
I want to see the world.
I want to go out there to see what others are doing.
I want to go far out there to see how advance they are.
I want to go further out there to see how others are living their lives.
This life in Singapore is stuffy, stale, old, and selfish.
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